First of all, I should start with an apology. One that I find myself repeating often whenever I start back university. I pick up my writing during summer and then university starts again and I sort of disappear. You have to understand (those of you not at university) that even though the entire year is filled with a lot of work, the first few weeks are often the most stressful as all the work gets dropped on you and you aren’t ready to be thrown back into that routine, therefore, university takes priority over my writing! Therefore, I am sorry for completely dropping my blogging/vlogging schedule, I am going to try and get back into the swing of things!
Now to the reason I am really writing this evening. As usual, at the beginning of every semester, I am writing my little ‘…So Far…’ entry where I describe how my first few weeks back in university have been, let’s crack on.
I’m now around four weeks into my Third Year at my little university in Lincoln. What a jam-packed four weeks it has already been. It’s fair to say we hit the ground running or more accurately, hit the ground running only to immediately trip up. That’s an accurate description of how I’ve found the first few weeks in a nutshell.
When starting back university I started three modules. Those being; Studio Practice – Educational Drama and Directing and Devising. All three of which I am really enjoying but they all come with their own weight to hold. My groups for all are fantastic and with all of those groups I am working hard – but I think maybe too hard as last night my anxiety played up for the first time in a while and left me drained today so I had to have a day off which I really wanted to stay clear of in Third Year. Since being back I already had two days off because of the dreaded Freshers Flu and to be honest, I still bloody have it – as those memes say in university you just get to a point where you accept this lower standard of health. Anyway, I went slightly off track, what I was trying to get at was that when I have been well, I’ve been in university everyday and really over working myself which doesn’t surprise me when I did feel how I did last night.
Which brings me onto another part of my journey that you’ve had an insight into, my anxiety. So you all know that story and the last time I wrote about it I was seeking counselling, up to now, I’ve had two sessions (and an assessment session) and so far, it’s going really well. It’s really helping me tackle my feelings and my stress and my anxiety and I can feel myself getting back to how I was – however, I don’t mislead myself into thinking that just because I have a lot of good days in a row, a bad day won’t creep up – last night is proof of that. I’m really taking on board everything my counselling is saying, the techniques she is teaching me are really helping as well and overall, I’m on a positive road… as long as I don’t overwork myself as I have been doing as that’s just a recipe for disaster. However, long story short, I’m doing better.
When looking at the silver lining, I have an awful lot to look forward too. Sure, I’m having to put in a lot of time and effort (blood, sweat and tears) but in the long run it is going to be worth it when pulling off performances left, right and centre. It’s something I can focus all my energies on. However, I’m desperately trying not to wish my Third Year away so quickly as I’m really going to miss my time here – even though I may be going on to doing a PGCE (yes, that’s right, I am currently in the process of doing the UCAS applications).
So, in a nutshell, Third Year is a rollercoaster (as every year has been to be honest) and I’ve still got a long way to go, a VERY long way (see, not wishing my time away?) and I look forward to what is to come!